I'm going for it, I guess?

Where do I really start on this journey of documentation? Maybe I should state why I am creating this blog in the first place, what I hope to get out of it, and then I'll eventually tell my stories about how this blog came to be.  Perhaps those that read or support me will follow along in this whole process.

Purpose of this blog: To document my transition (and hopeful transformation) from being a 9-5 higher education administrator into a full-time artist and puppeteer.

What I hope to get out this blog: I want to commit to my dreams, and having a forum/space for feedback and reflection as I embark on them seems like good evidence of that. I am in a new chapter of my life, one I feel I have been waiting for a long time for. How could I not want to indulge myself in an opportunity to document and share my growth, fears, dreams, and success?

Who should read this?: Honestly, this is for me right now, but I feel that making my dreams public will only help me keep my word on things more (even if no one is paying attention). If you want to offer feedback on the work I post, offer guidance and support, live vicariously through me, or perhaps find inspiration from this...then this is for you too.

Here's a little background for now: I'm 33 now and can only do the "responsible" thing so much longer. I have a GREAT job with GREAT people in my hometown (which I chose to move back to 3 years ago), and I have a GREAT life here! Yes, I am this positive and really do feel that way. So here's the big BUT....when I am asked what I do by others, my thought and sometimes truthful response is "What I do has little to do with who I am."

I can't say that that's entirely the truth. I do my best to be my abundant self and bring creativity in where I can. BUT the reality is...the work that I do provides me a stable life and profile. Right now, it financially supports my side artistic pursuits and "hobbies" and also sucks up way too much time from doing those very things that I love.

It's taken me years but I'll say it now with a confident yet frightened heart....My name is Monica and I'm an artist. I admit it. I can't deny myself the self-indulgent pleasure of creating and experiencing life without it anymore. Believe me, I've been very good at shutting it out for several years now.

So I'm in the process of figuring out what I need to do in the next year to make this really happen.

• I'm carving out and committing to studio time for pottery, painting, and puppetry (which is where my focus lies).
• I am researching workshops and applying to apprenticeships that I can do on my vacation. 
• I am financially planning to be as debt free as possible (just a car and graduate school loans...no biggie) as well as add more to my savings. I am figuring out what opportunities I can capitalize on to make more money without it cutting too much into my limited studio time.
• I am communicating my plans and dreams (e.g. this blog) so I can keep my word on all of this.
• And yep...I even have a morning ritual that I'm mostly good at keeping because it centers me on all of this. 

I'm sure I'll say this again and again but the final piece I want to add in this entry is:
I have spent the last 10 years building up some great professional skills. This has led to a stable life and I currently have no prospect of marriage and children to compliment that. In some strange way, I feel that I've created it that way because certain dreams of mine haven't been resolved.

Unlike the post art school twenty-something, I have a toolkit of personal and professional skills and experiences that will help me advocate for myself and bring about great opportunities. None of my time has been wasted...it's only prepared me for this more! The only failure I'll experience in my life is not going for it. If I grow tired or crave the stable life after a while...there will still be a lot of stable job opportunities for me out there. Therefore in close, I'll share a quote I picked up at a retreat a few years ago. "Aw, what the fuck, go for it anyway."