And Push....12DoJB The Puppet Show

Oh BOY! Grab yourself a Bie-Beer and enjoy the show!

12DoJB- The Puppet Show Link

Here's my disclaimer and credits:

First, this puppet show is our self-directed attempt to learn the art of story boarding, puppetry, audio and video editing, and ridiculous storytelling. Naturally  we didn't make the music and drew from the implied and recognizable musical influences. The audience is intended for our friends and family to enjoy and support us in our growth. This is a FREE puppet show and we welcome critique and feedback in our learning process. Thank you for your support. YouTube provides an opportunity to share our learning and creative development with those afar, yet near and dear to our hearts.

Story Development: Monica and Jen

Shadow Puppet Construction: Monica and some assistance of Bridget, Jen, and Levi.

Puppeteers: Bridget, Jen, Levi, and Monica

Audio Selection and Editing: Monica

Video and Editing Crew: Lee and Michelle

Stage Construction: John and Jeff

Inspiration: Alex

Supply and Shipping Fund: Raghav

Love and Support: You all know who you are and you are awesome!

What to expect when you are expecting?

Excerpt from "12 Degrees of Justin Bieber -The Puppet Show"

Nope. I'm not pregnant if that's what you thought when you read the title. I've been "birthing" a new puppet show with some friends, and promise to introduce this bundle of joy to the world on Friday, December 14th. Stay tuned.

The idea was "conceived" in August, with some development and rehearsals in October, and last night we filmed it!

Perhaps you've heard the stories or seen the strange images posted on my Facebook wall. You might be asking, "Why is Monica so obsessed with Justin Bieber these days? What is this all about?" So here's the context you need.


Well, shortly after my stint at Bread and Puppet I was given an interesting proposition by my friend Jen. Jen fell in love with Shadow Puppets over the summer when she volunteered to work on my first vignette, “How to Make Vegan Cupcakes.” Her enthusiasm arrived in a conversation with an old friend from high school, Raghav. Last year, Raghav got a divorce and started agreeing to support and participate in a variety of projects. Among his funded projects is 12 Degrees of Justin Bieber (12DoJB).

Essentially, Raghav is supporting an impressive young writer named Alex. Although I have never personally met him (or Raghav for that matter), Alex is clearly an experimenter in all things that are awesome. In 12DoJB, Alex is testing the flexibility of Pandora. He has 160 hours get Pandora to play a Justin Bieber tune from both a Slipknot station and a Peruvian Pan Flute station. Sounds ridiculous and brilliant right? Believe me, I’ve done the research and this task is no small feat. This is only for professionals who are dedicated to listening to the good, bad, and the ugly. His entertaining and educational blog, http://12degreesofjustinbieber.tumblr.com/ is a source of inspiration for this show.

So Jen asked Raghav if he would support us in doing another puppet show. He asked us to make him an offer. Jen described Alex’s project to me one evening. The next day I spent all morning reading his blog, laughing out loud and entertained by the images running through my mind.  Halfway through the blog I called Jen. Inspired by Alex’s blog and the impressive scope of the project we set out to create a small puppet show (less than 10 minutes long) based on this project. Naturally our fellow puppeteers, Bridget and Levi couldn’t resist the opportunity to collaborate on another brilliant yet brief puppet show.

So that’s all I’m telling you right now about the show. We “conceived” the idea in August, did some initial storyboarding in September, rehearsed and made an amateur film in October (best birthday weekend ever!), and filmed it last night. Our friends, Lee and Michelle are now in the editing stages. (Thank you, Lee and Michelle for rocking this out!)

This vignette will make you fall in love with shadow puppetry. You’ll laugh. You’ll possibly shed a tear. You’ll be confused (especially if you watch it with no context), and it’s very possible you’ll realize how weird we all are!

You’re dying to see it aren’t you! Be on the lookout for a post Friday, December 14th in the evening. That is the first time we’ll watch it as a puppet troupe. Why December 14th? Duh! The 12DoJB holiday party in Portland, OR is that night! Our friends, Raghav and Alex and anyone else at the 12DoJB Holiday Party will toast to it's ridiculousness! Unfortunately no, I’m not performing it in Portland or going to that party. I’m sure I’ll meet Raghav and Alex someday though!


p.s. THANKS again to Alex and Raghav for inspiring this. Thank you to Bridget, Jen, and Levi for birthing this with me. You are the best people in the world, and so fun to work with. Thank you to John and Bridget for opening your home as the official headquarters. Thank you to Don for lending us the video camera initially. Thank you Lee and Michelle for being superb additions to the group last night and for filming and editing the show!

Monica Joy: Apprenctice of Puppetry and Connoisseur of Fine Outhouses

Huge puppet from our Friday performances. See video below.

At dinner tonight a friend asked, "Oh Monica, how was your two week puppetry excursion?" Well it's been weeks since I returned and I realized I haven't reflected or documented my experience yet. There is so much to think about that all I could say was that I developed a preference for a specific outhouse over the other options. Yes, it was a special composting toilet maintained by a company called Clivus. I was not the only one who favored this outhouse, it was a shared and celebrated commodity. Like a giddy school girls giggling about their boy crushes, my fellow apprentices and I would smile and giggle saying, "I just used the Clivus." Totally ridiculous, but I'll tell you my apprenticeship was full of appreciation for such commodities.

There's actually quite a bit I could share about the experience. I wrote in my journal everyday with descriptions of my day, stories of triumph, documentation of learning, and recounts of experiences that brought back nostalgic memories. 

So perhaps I should recap what I did. In short, I took two weeks vacation to apprentice at the Bread and Puppet Theater company in Glover, VT. I had some experience with the company ten years ago (see Accepted blog post), and was honored and excited to be an apprentice. In this blog post, I'm not interested in recapping all of Bread and Puppet's history or their significance in politics and puppetry. I really want to just share some videos, pics and highlights from my two weeks there.

The Location

Banners outside of B & P

B & P is located in rural Vermont on a farm owned by the Schumann's who founded the company. Decorated with amazing "cheap art" and prints from visiting guests and their onsite print shop, the farm houses a communal farmhouse where 70ish people (yes, there were a lot of people there) roam the kitchen daily and engage in their share of communal activities (gardening, harvesting, cooking, cleaning, making aioli, recycling, etc.). The apprentices and volunteers all lived in tents of course, and the staff and puppeteers lived in the house or in other nearby shelters (e.g. old B & P school buses). Also on the land were a few gardens and livestock for sustenance, the Paper Mache Cathedral & Dirt Floor Theater (where we rehearsed and performed our Fright night shows), a gift shop, museum, art space, storage space, costume room, print shop, outdoor fields for the Sunday afternoon circus and pageant, miscellaneous living and creating spaces, and outhouses, featuring the ever so amazing (school girl giggle), Clivus composting toilet. As mentioned, there are several old B & P school buses that decorated the land for storage, merchandising, or living spaces.

Outside the Puppet Museum & Gift Shop

 

Dirt Floor Theater and Paper Mache Cathedral

Banner on DF Theater/PM Cathedral

Cheap Art Bus

My Neighborhood, Las Palmas

The People

I met so many people from so many places (both states and countries), of all ages and backgrounds, and with just as much confusion as I had in the first 24 hours at  B & P. Thankfully I learned on my second day that in a nutshell, "there are really no rules at B & P but someone is always making a mistake." Given that, information, I could relax in the fact that I could just be present. I had to drop some of the inherent control that I have to need to know what is coming next so I could be prepared and have my mental stuff together. Most were artists, musicians and actors who illuminated the post-dinner coma with an eclectic jam session. Oh how I love fiddles and accordions and random brass instruments being played with such joy on the porch of an old farmhouse. The juxtaposition of this life versus my typical daily grind was memorizing and exhausting, but definitely amazingly beautiful on a hot summer night in the hills of Vermont. 

Circus Act at B&P...look at all the instruments!

The Puppets and Politics

I'd like to save the stories of what we worked on for another blog, and how different aspects influences my thinking. Instead, I'd like to just shared a few photos and a video of what I was working on. When I find my fellow apprentices with their library of documented performances, I'll share those parts. For now, here's the magnitude and aesthetic of what I was working with. Perhaps if will inspire you more to read about Bread and Puppet.  

Backstage at the Circus

Lion Costumes

So you can see how big some of these puppets are compared to me!

Some Interesting Thought and Highlights

• The Importance of Music: On Tuesday evenings, the community comes for shape note singing. I attended one week and while I couldn't follow along with reading music, let alone music that was coded with shapes and Fa, La, So, Me's, I was in awe of the beauty of singing old hymns and rounds. We even sang the "Rose Rose Rose Rose.. Will I ever see thee wed?" song that I so fondly recall learning from my mom and my Aunt Bobbie, Joanie, Susie, and perhaps Kathy and Mary were there? We sang that song in a round one night on the balcony of our shared condo in Maine. I was so swept away with that family memory resurfacing at B & P that I thought about how important it is that I keep music alive with my immediate and future families.
• Getting Higher: I did face a fear of mine. I walked on stilts. I will never forget Anli, the German woman who so forcefully strapped me into those stilts and relentlessly supported me in succeeding. I was thankful it was sunny and that I had sunglasses on to mask the tears and panic I had on my face the whole time. Heck, I even kept crying when I was walking independently on those stilts, after I had accomplished this fear. I really had thought about quitting before I even stood up for the first time, but I practiced what I have been working on for years. I thought, "Monica, what kind of 1st world problem is this? What kind of story are you going to make this? The story of you quitting and feeling bad about not following through when there is no reason not to, or will this be the story of you saying 'to heck with it' and just doing it and living to tell about it." I am happy with my choice. Due to rain, I didn't have time to get on stilts again but I'm thinking about seeking out an opportunity to continue with this training. Tip: The secret is to keep moving. Being paralyzed by fear is not helpful when stilt-walking or anything, so just march to the beat of your own drum and you'll figure it out.

That's all for now...more to come, including the new show I'm working on that is less than political and doesn't involve big puppets. 

Lastly, here's a short video clip of the big puppet during a technical rehearsal. 

I took a small detour torochester today to spend time with Jeff while he's up here for work. On my way up I  decided to delve into the array of emotions I am feeling about my upcoming apprenticeship. I have been going through levels of panic and nervousness regarding leaving my job for two weeks, being away from my cat and companion, wondering how this will throw off my marathon training, uncertainty about packing and most importantly...what the heck will the next few weeks bring? What will I learn, who will I meet, and will this experience radically change me? All coated with relentless fear and drama, these are the things I sorted through.

I know, I know, not everything in life can be planned. I admit it...I am a planner for the most part and giving up that level of control over my environment and schedule (not to mention the luxuries of Internet and phone I have become so attached to) is pretty scary. 

So I realized that I can stay centered by what I do best as a strategic planner and educator...I can write learning objectives for myself. Yeah!

Without writing the prescribed learning objective formula incorporating vocabulary from Bloom's Taxonomy and setting associated assessment measures, I will sum up my goals here:

As I stated in my first blog entry, I have done a really great job of being responsible. To some, my past choices and adventures seem exciting and risky. To me, they have been safe. I have done a good job being my quirky self, living comfortably and subversively teaching and/or inspiring others to perhaps think differently about things...the choice of happiness, the choice of forgiveness and acceptance, challenging self-limiting beliefs, using cloth napkins, voting with our dollars (when possible) at the supermarket and/or in our daily nourishment, etc. All those things are a work in progress for me as well, but I am happy that others have become aware of some of these important concepts as a result of my journey with them.

The next two weeks at Bread and Puppet, I want to participate and cross the boundaries of subversive teaching to being out loud with it. I am ready to learn, to re-ignite and participate in a different type of responsibility, civic responsibility . Naturally there is an art form I will be learning, but so much of this is how to challenge the everyday with the spectacular communication and community dialogue that puppetry invites. I will do my best to stay present and gentle with myself in the learning process, and hope that I can give this back to my community when I return.

I wrote most of this blog on my iPhone at Ming's on Monroe Ave. I was hungry, needed lunch and so missed their veggie udon noodle dish. When handed the bill with a fortune cookie, I was about halfway through writing this post. Best fortune and fortune cookie ever - "to love what you do and feel that it matters--how could anything be more fun!"

Peace out! I look forward to connecting and reflecting again on the other side of this residency. Until then, thank you all for your support and love in my life. Heart you, each and everyone of you!


Sent from my iPhone

Instant Gratification

Ask and you shall receive. Unbeknownst to me, my new friend, Jim Laux filmed it. Here's a link to the unedited version of How to Make Vegan Cupcakes. You may not be able to hear me speaking well, but once the lights go off and on and the music starts, the sound isn't bad. Due to angles and lighting, you won't be able to see any clear definition on some parts so use your imagination and enjoy! I'll be finding other footage soon and am hoping to do an edit job on that. 


Thanks, Jim!

Vegan Puppeteers Take Over Beulahland

Thank you, Noel Sylvester, for capturing this fun shot!

On Friday, July 13th, I performed my first puppet show since I started Data Geek to Puppeteer. My friends Amelia, Noel, and Jennifer graciously invited friends and artists out to their art farm (Beulahland) to create, engage, and celebrate all forms of creativity (and Jennifer's 61st birthday) to their seemingly annual mini festival. This year it was known as 61 Hours of Art, the second mini-festival that followed the ever so awesome 60 Hour of Art.

I worked for weeks to create and perform a very simple plot, that probably took way more than 61 hours. It was all worth it for the three (yes, that's 3) minutes of pure delight I experienced performing it. Here's an overview of the piece, How to Make Vegan Cupcakes.

Original Draft of Jennifer F.

• The Plot: Entranced by a vision of a yummy vegan cupcake, a young girl sets out on a pursuit to make vegan cupcakes for her friend's birthday. In this short, three minute vignette, the ingredients, utensils, and appliances illustrate a whimsical life of their own. At the end of the show, we wished, Jennifer Fais (and Jeff K) a happy birthday and gave her a papercutting portrait I created.
• Medium: Shadow Puppetry, with some fancy papercutting action.
• The Music: About a week before the show, The Winner Is by Danna/Devotchka from the Little Miss Sunshine soundtrack showed up on my Pandora station at work. Wow. I paid and downloaded the whole soundtrack that night. The music is not only beautiful, but timed out my show in a more eloquent way than I could have. I had struggled with the fact that I wanted the show to be silent or with minimal speaking parts. Problem solved.
• The Puppeteers: I was so thankful for the playful and creative friends I have, Bridget BVO and Jennifer B. who volunteered their time over two rehearsals to learn puppetry (and I think they fell in love with it too!). Given the name of the blog, I'll admit and say I'm the only vegan puppeteer but one of them is vegetarian and another is inspirationally stoked about vegetables and local farming. 
• The Inspiration: I came up with this idea driving back from Toronto after attending Fresh Ideas in Puppetry. I was inspired by some performances and presentations highlighting Shadow Puppetry. When I drove back I watched shadow figures walk through the screen of my mind and I knew I wanted to start out my puppetry endeavors with shadow puppets and papercutting. How to Make Vegan Cupcakes seemed like the simplest and most playful plot to start with.
• Why Vegan Cupcakes?: I had never really been a baker or very interested in desserts until I became vegan, and I became vegan as a personal health experiment that grew into a life habit I'm committed to.Then, in attempt to bring "vegan" food to parties that might open up people's perception of vegan food, I started making vegan cupcakes. Of course, I'm aware I took the path of least resistance, "vegan junk food." BUT, learning the art of vegan baking from my mentor's in their book, Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World was definitely part of my return as an artist. I did even use the ingredients from their Basic Chocolate Cupcake Recipe. In fact, for 60 Hours of Art, I had created 60 Hours of Vegan Cupcakes in which I learned and made five different cupcake recipes from the book. So for 61 Hours, why not create a puppet show about making vegan cupcakes?
• Props (in the slang sense): With some research and scavenging, I figured out how to make a cheap stage. I'm giving out props to my friend John VO and partner Jeff K for their assistance and support constructing it with me. 
• The Response: From the feedback I received, it was the playful and enchanting (and maybe emotional) experience I intended the audience to engage in. I may have even made one shed a tear. If any has seen it, I welcome the constructive feedback.

Let's just say the whole process was delightful. I learned so much, experienced a minor case of nerves but that was totally trumped my determination to make the process a joyful learning experience. I thought I'd have more to say about the array of emotions about creating this, but really, I kept my focus and decided to not misuse my imagination and energy on worry. That's the soundest piece of advice I can give anyone who is "going for it."

Thank you Maxwell Harvey-Sampson for this photo.

 

p.s. For those wondering...yes, it was taped but I haven't seen it yet. I'll work on that. However, I have some wonderful photos (as shown) that some great and talented friends/photographers took that evening. 

p.s.s. Ironically I made the ever so yummy green tea cupcakes again for Jeff's birthday the day after the show. As I was taking the cupcakes out of the oven, The Winner Is song came on my Pandora station. Oh, how sweet life is!

The Green Tea Cupcakes I made the day after my show for Jeff's birthday.

I'm a Shadow Artist?

First Paper-Cutting Session: Semi-Self-Portrait

As I reflect on my experiences, thoughts, and the work I have been creating physically and in my mind, the term "Shadow Artist" seems to capture it all so well. Circa 1999 I set aside much of my energy as an artist, and reallocated (yes, I just used that beloved buzz word) my time and passion into arts administration. Maggie Hanley (formerly the Manager Director) hired me at 171 Cedar Arts Center, where, me, an unfocused, twenty-year old, college stop-out/dropout discovered the art of writing queries and had a rejuvenating feeling of purpose. I finally felt like I was contributing. I felt successful, and within a few short months of working there I knew I would continue my studies, not as an artist, but as an arts administrator. 

It's interesting that at 33, the year I celebrate overcoming the illness I call "Artist Suppression Syndrome," I recall a conversation with Maggie at 171 in the kitchen (the old one in the Bruce House for those familiar with it). Perhaps Maggie was examining her life at the time and healing from some "Artist Suppression Syndrome" too. Anyway, we started talking about the book, "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron, particularly the key concept of being a Shadow Artist explored in the book. It's been a while since I read that book but I found a quote referenced from the book that describes this meaning well. 

Too intimidated to become artists themselves, very often too low in self-worth to even recognize that they have an artistic dream, these people become shadow artists instead. Artists themselves but ignorant of their true identity, shadow artists are to be found shadowing declared artists… Shadow artists often choose shadow careers — those close to the desired art, even parallel to it, but not the art itself.

So there we were, two classic shadow artists working at an arts center. Now, more than 10 years later, I am confronting that self-worth, that artistic dream, and trying to figure out where to start with it all.

I've been wondering if I should actually change the name of my blog from "Data Geek to Puppeteer" to something more fitting like "From the Desk of an Artsy Data Geek." I'm starting to think that my drive to "Go For It" isn't so much about being a puppeteer but about being an artist in general. I have a lot of ideas and concepts I am entertaining in my work, some incorporate puppetry and some fit my desire to just learn as much as I can about everything (sewing, felting, sculpture, painting, paper-cutting, dance...etc, etc). It's a little unsettling how all over the place I am with it. However, my friend Bridget (oh my, how blessed I am to have her in my life) encouraged me to look at it differently. She said, "if you were in art school, you would be learning and exploring many different mediums. Think of this year and/or the next few years as your art school years." Oh, that helps to think of it that way, whether you are pursuing your dreams as an artist or anything.

So here's what I've been up to:

• Shadow Puppetry and Paper-cutting: A few weeks ago I went to Fresh Ideas in Puppetry, a "puppetry conference" in Toronto put on by Puppetmongers: Toronto School of Puppetry. I was inspired by all the work I saw. On my drive back I realized that I want to focus my experimentation with puppetry on Shadow Puppetry. I'm really fascinated by paper-cutting/scherenschnitte, and this compliments my artistic development with shadow puppetry. It's also "cheap" and I can do it in my apartment versus in my attic studio (which is too hot right now) at my parent's house. Did I mention that my only actual puppet performance outside of undergrad was a Shadow Puppet show I did while working at the Armenian Library and Museum in Watertown, MA? Hence, "Shadow Artist" has multiple meanings right now. If you have no idea what Shadow Puppetry is, I'll be sure to share some cool finds. One my my recent favorites is this Pilobolus Dance Theatre "Shadowland" clip. You'll get chills it's so wonderful.  

 

• Domestic DIY: I've moved across town, yes again, so I've been working on that. However, in the process of brilliant cohabitation it's been fun to work on cool projects like building a spice rack. We researched and been creating a great spice rack in our small kitchen. It was inspired by this one: http://www.lifehacker.com.au/2009/11/mount-a-magnetic-spice-rack-to-keep-your-spices-accessible/



Recycled Bottle Caps







• Recycled Runway: I took a detour on it all to work on this community project directed by Amelia Harnas. It was fun creating recycled fashions for The ARTS of the Southern Finger Lakes benefit. What can I say, I like beer and making these outfits was a lot of fun! See my bottle cap dress and vest here...as well as many amazing, amazing pieces.Thanks for being my model, Barb, and thank you, Amelia, for creating another fun and safe space for experimentation!
• More Cupcakes, Please: I've found the winning cupcake recipe in Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World. They win on all levels so here's the recipe! They are a delightfully-delicious-post-sushi-dinner-dessert! Of course, mine aren't nearly as cute as the ones in the picture on PPK's website, but pink marzipan circle cut-outs are just as adorable and aesthetically pleasing. Don't get me wrong, all vegan cupcakes recipes from this book are great...but these take the "cupcake!"

Now that I'm settled, I'll probably be more likely to documenting my thoughts and practices. If you haven't yet, watch that Pilobolus video!

p.s. Thanks again to Maggie and Bridget and all who have inspired me more than you could possibly know!

A certain someone with rabbit ears.

My nephew...looks cross-eyed but it's an early attempt and I like the hair. I've learned it's really hard to create paper-cuttings of young people.

A Shout Out to My Mother

One of the important parts of my development as an artist/puppeteer/learner/whatever is to give credit to where credit is due. I intended about a week ago to honor my mother on the "contrived holiday" of mother's day. Those are my mother's words also, not mine (another reason that makes her so cool). While I didn't give her a gift or a card, and I was out of town spending time with another mother in my life, I still thought a lot about what I wanted to say in this blog post about and to my mother. I have distinct moments and memories that are instilled in who I am and how I do things, how I learn, how I celebrate, and how I respond to disappointment. So here are a few things I have been thinking about lately, but this is by no means everything:

• I have had the gift of seeing you as a grandmother to my nephew and niece since I moved back from Chicago three years ago. A seasoned early childhood educator, you know you are amazing with young children and providing structured yet creative experiences. You always had/have a stock of paints, brushes, markers, crayons, and whatever was needed. If there was no play dough, we made salt dough. Hours were spent in the kitchen over the years playing with materials, singing songs, and listening to you banter with silly yet strange (and sometimes scary) impersonations. You taught me that the product was not never nearly as important as the process, and I have kept this in my mind as I have been re-learning how to to paint, draw, sculpt and tinker this year. Hence, thank you mom for my ferocious sense of play, and thank you for always articulating why it is important to a child's development. Thank you for letting me spend hours and hours dancing and pretending while listening to Zoom, Annie, and Free to Be You and Me on the record player. Thank you for realizing that playing with dolls and Barbie was good for my emotional and social development.Thank you for putting up with me as an angsty child, teenager and adult (well, sometimes) and for giving me a creative outlet to explore and express this through.
• Even in the years of my life where I was sadly yet intentionally shutting out my creative self, I stayed connected through the craftiness of candle making. I remember the first candle you taught me to make with some gulf canning wax, string, crayons, and a milk carton. It's been 15 + years and making candles remains an annual tradition for me. It's segued into a drive to learn other DIY home stuff, and the playful attitude I learned gives me to the confidence to learn these things. Thank you for supporting me as a learner, particularly as I struggled with tying my shoes, reading, being myself, and dealing with rejection and failure. Learning to make a candle  taught me that I could learn most things if I just took the time to do it.
• As I create, create, create,  I am realizing how I really love shadow puppetry and paper cutouts. I have been thinking about projects I want to do and checked out books on paper crafts and silhouettes. As I started reading these books, I realized where my love of prints and paper craft came from. Remember when you taught me scherenschnitte? Wow! That was a long time ago. For those reading who don't know, take a look at this Ted talk video and you'll understand why I am in love with this art form. Mom, you'll love it too. http://www.ted.com/talks/beatrice_coron_stories_cut_from_paper.html

• Lastly, I love that when I posted about my impromptu trip to Toronto that you immediately volunteered to go with me. I consider my love of travel and excellent navigational skills with public transportation to be something I take pride in, and something that I DEFINITELY get from you. Thanks for the adventures in life!

One more time: Thank you for all of your support and the gifts you have given me. I am pleased that I am no longer taking them for granted and am using them everyday!

Mixed Emotions about Mixed-Media

I'll warn you...this is one of those blog posts that is really self-indulgent and used for my own need to document (as they all are). I won't be disappointed if you don't read it. As my friend Bob would say, "it's a brain dump."

I've been walking around with that twinge of guilt in the back of my head..."you really should be doing this, you should be doing that, you aren't doing enough, you are doing too much, you should be blogging about doing this, you should be blogging about not doing that, you should be blogging about your experience...end of story."

The reality is that I probably am...NO, I am doing the best I can. I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I feel pretty alone and isolated right now, but I know these thoughts and feelings are shared by so many about so many things. However, I feel like I have been doing a real dis-service to myself by not documenting what I've been up to, what I have been experiencing in this journey, both positive and negative. 

This isn't meant to be a downer of a post, it's meant to be the truth about the reality in my head. I know that the reality in one's head isn't often the same as reality, but it's something to be confronted and dealt with anyway. 

So I've struggled with making the time to document a lot of events and experiences in this journey. Tired of beating myself up, I've decide to make this time during my lunch break today. So what have I been up to?:

Melanie's show at CCC!

• Puppet Shadowing: Thank you to puppeteer and storyteller, Melanie Zimmer, for allowing me to assist and talk with you before and after your show at CCC's Cool Kids event in March. Shortly after I started my journey, I realized there would be a puppet show right in town and I promptly contacted her. I recognize I'm in this big information gathering stage and I need as much inspiration and connection to other puppeteers as possible right now. It was inspiring to meet with her and consider a lot of different aspects of performing including sets, lights, music, and using different ways to engage an audience of young children. I felt like I was back in my old job at the Aesthetic Education Institute again coordinating arts residencies and performances, and ooooh, how I miss that. Thank you, Melanie, and a shout out for Steve Appleton from Cool Kids who I reconnected with after 10 years. He's created a really amazing life, and creates so many fantastic experiences for learners of all ages in upstate NY. 
•  Whine and Critique: I am also thankful for my inspiring friends (namely Bridget Bossart Van Otterloo) who have supported and encouraged me in this journey. Last week she hosted a Whine and Critique inviting local artists into her home to share their work with each other. That was the first time I ever really presented my work/puppets to anyone in person and my personal response to it was unsettling. I am very comfortable presenting and teaching, but the force and power I have in my delivery this time felt different. I felt like I became shy (which is a relative term because it may not have been perceived that way). I noticed I didn't feel fully present and in this comfortable and powerful zone that I get into when teaching/presenting. I think the only word for it is "vulnerable" although that wasn't exactly what it felt like to me. I just didn't feel present in my power. While everyone was very receptive, I didn't really get any feedback and that was disappointing. However, I LOVED supporting and learning from others about their work. Everyone there was in the visual artist realm, mainly painting or photography. I felt very lonely after, realizing I really needed to be in a community of people doing more of what I'm doing who I can learn from and talk with about the interdisciplinary facets of puppetry. I don't really know where to find that unless I go somewhere else, and I don't feel ready to do that yet. 

Development of ACT ONE: Sasha and the Pearl. The parents are nearly finished and Sasha now has hair!

• Workshops and Opportunities: In response to the feelings I had from the Whine and Critique I really thought about what I needed to do. My upcoming trip to Bread and Puppet seems too far away, and I need support and inspiration soon. I thought about signing up for some workshops in Toronto but the thought of making that logistically happen right now stresses me out. Self-indulgent sigh!
• What I am loving right now: Glazing coffee cups and thinking of amazingly creative ideas! I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday (thanks Don, John, Bonnie, Dad, Erin, and Jeff) who let me be honest with my feelings yesterday. I hate those self-indulgent moments of crying and am loathing myself as I write this self-indulgent blog post. I've been stressing about all of the aforementioned. What some of it comes down to is that I've been conflicted about how all the time and money I have been spending in the 171 pottery studio lately and if I needed to give that up in order to invest my time/money puppetry. 

Pre-Fired Glazing on Mugs. 

Inspired by and created for Bridget!

Helped me come to my realization last night. This one is inspired by and for Bonnie.

The answer for now: I spent 2.5 hours glazing a cup at the 171 studio last night and I never felt so good doing it. That's where I want to spend my energy for the next few months. Perhaps I need to re-shift my perspective...is it about becoming a puppeteer or is my desire to be an artist/creative being the goal? I think we know the answer to that. And yes, puppetry is still in my plans...but it's only part of it.

Accepted!

Bread and Puppet postcard

I experienced this feeling in 1996 and again in 2004. I received a letter today after a month of waiting. Crafted in very Bread and Puppet fashion, "We'd like to invite you to participate in our apprenticeship program." Shortly after I realized my dreams, I decided to apply to one of three Bread and Puppet apprenticeship programs. I opted for the 2-week one so I could use vacation and not apply for a leave of absence from work. I can only imagine going before the college administration and the board of trustees asking them for extended leave to live in a commune for four weeks, but I would have seriously considered it if need be! I will be there from July 31 through August 13th, living in my element as a hippie puppeteer, learning and helping with their Friday and Sunday shows.

For those of you who don't know, Bread and Puppet isn't your traditional idea of puppetry or puppet theater. It's pretty unorthodox and the only competitive thing about them is getting into their apprenticeship program, because what liberal college student or person with free time who digs political puppetry wouldn't want to spend their summer this way? There were 15 slots in the 2-week program and I've now secured one.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I'll have no problem living in a tent for two weeks cooking organic food, composting, not showering and all around getting down with other smelly Bread and Puppet enthusiasts. Some know, but others don't know that I have worked with Bread and Puppet before, and others know that one of my biggest "regrets" was choosing not to take the Program Manager position I was enthusiastically offered at Spiral Q puppetry in Philly in 2002. I was 21ish and wanted to move to Boston, even though that was my dream job at the time.

I worked with Bread and Puppet on a community performance and week-intensive arts residency for a youth outreach program I managed while finishing my undergraduate degree in Rochester, NY (circa 2002). I hired artists to work with at-risk youth in the inner city for several weeks surrounding this arts camp. That was a challenging program and week in the lives of all who were involved! There were soooo many obstacles that these students had to overcome to attend each day. It was a lesson in perseverance and transformation, and I can’t think of anything deeper or more meaningful for the staff, volunteers and students to experience. It was definitely one of the hardest weeks of my life, but totally worth seeing everyone pull it together by Friday afternoon's performance.


As I shared with Bread and Puppet in my application letter "I now need to be a student in the non-traditional sense. I know the arts communicate, educate, and inspire social change and humanity more to me and many than any other vehicle. Bread and Puppet embraces this and has, by far, led this charge."


So hooray! Thanks for all your encouragement and support! This is just the beginning of my adventure.

Dreams, Distractions, Doodles and Hairstyling!

If anyone is paying attention out there, I've been slacking on my blog and maybe a bit on my artistic dreams. I'll just be honest and say that I have been a little distracted, as indicated by doodles representing a certain individual (versus puppet sketches). This is how it happens...as soon as you let go of certain ideas/dreams and decide to totally be yourself...some really amazing bro comes along and challenges that. True story. I mean this is a good way, and I am thankful for all of his support and patience as I figure out how to reconcile these two amazing dreams that were realized within a week of each other. <3

I have been reading through the Sasha and the Pearl script over the last few weeks and feverishly jotting down various ideas for setting, character, and sound. Tonight is the first night in a while that I actually sat in my studio between loads of laundry and other things. I started with some crude sketches of the first few scenes, and hope some puppet making will commence this weekend. In the meantime, I heart watercolor pencils. I am pretty sure I want to make the show (if possible) a good mix of puppet techniques. e.g. I think it would work well if Sasha's parents in one room were depicted as silhouette or shadow puppets, while Sasha is a 3D rod puppet. At this point, I think I am going to use one of my sculpted heads for Sasha.

Sasha's parents (left) as Shadow Puppets with Sasha sitting up in bed.

Sasha and the Fairy...wish, wish, wishing for magic stones.

I still need to learn to sew (other than hand stitch) so it seemed logical to start thinking about hair. My sister has bins of amazing yarn in our attic that she said I could use. Thank you, Schister Annie! I found a few shades of brown with various textures. I'm in the stage of "gathering" the yarn, and plan to install and trim the hair once I have the face finished. However, it was fun to experiment and I really didn't think I'd feel so jazzed about playing with yarn. I loved how the three types are yarn look together.

Unfortunately that's all I had time for tonight. I wanted to update this blog and actually have to do work work this evening and try to get into bed so I can commit to my running goals. So many goals...so little time to sleep if I want to accomplish them. Good night!

Puppetry is the Interdisciplinary Art Form

Phew! That was a close one. For a second there I thought I lost my commitment. I felt stalled by my wonderful life this past week (I'm smitten with it), still inspired with the intention to be creative...but not committing to the work of actually doing it. Some of this stalling had to do with the overwhelming idea of being a puppeteer. I stalled on the puppets I was making because I still don't know what their story is yet and where to go next.

Since I have started this blog (which was 8 days ago with a solo entry) I have received an amazing amount of encouragement and support, along with intriguing questions. The popular questions include where will I learn, what is my prior experience, etc, etc. However, one person asked the most obvious and important question:

Do I want to make puppets or perform with them? The answer is and most certainly has to be..."both, of course."

Creating puppets deeply satisfies my inherent tendency to draw, paint, and/or sculpt humans. When I sculpted those heads two weeks ago, I felt that my long-lasting affair with color and indulgent self-portraits had some greater purpose. I have never truly had the desire to depict landscapes or still life objects. When I do, I like painting crude symbolism in the background of a human subject or some bold, Fauvist landscape that would make a great background in a the Ballet Russe. That would also create a good stage in puppet theater.

I also have an unrequited love affair with modern dance. I fell in love with modern dance choreography while working at 171 Cedar Arts Center in 1999 (then under the artistic direction of the fabulous, Lois Welk, who also introduced me to the most amazing puppet show ever, The Star Keeper), coupled with very amateur studies in dance and dance history at SUNY Brockport. I'm an untrained dancer, but the aliveness I feel in my body when I move is captured oh so terrifically when manipulating puppets (especially bunraku, rod or shadow puppets).

While I admit that theater and theater people are incredibly annoying to me sometimes, I think some of that stems from the fact that I always lacked confidence and was too shy to engage in any form of it. In 6th grade, I timidly tried out and then immediately volunteered to be the lead makeup artist. Painting faces, painting puppets...same thing right? So in some ways, I get to act through a puppet and how cool is that!

I am not a musician and definitely not a singer, but I am an excellent collaborator and have a knack for sound sampling and sound effects. Any musicians out there want to collaborate with me someday?

Lastly, my favorite past time was reading General Hospital scripts out loud with my Aunt Jane in the "When I grow up I wan to be a soap opera star" nightgown she gave me when I was in elementary school. I was reminded this evening that I love reading scripts, and how powerful children's stories can be. Even bad children's stories can be outstanding if illustrated properly...and if they have any deeper message...power to the people! So for tonight's studio time, I opted to put the "creating" aside and do some research and reading on scripts. I decided I would pick a story or script and create from there over the next few months. The best part is...I can pull in some wonderful friends (I'm looking to you, Claudia B. and Susan L.) to create and perform this with me...just for the heck of it. It's good practice and great fun!

Stay tuned for some thumbnail sketches and developments. I found a cool puppet script that is free called Sasha and the Pearl tonight. Shortly after I read it, I started reading it out loud and drew some inspiration from some of my friend's unique and charming voices. Jen B., I stole your voice as Sasha. I also became visually inspired thinking about all the mixed media I could use. I thought a lot about how I could use light and perhaps image overlays with perhaps an LCD projector. It may call for a mix of rod and shadow puppetry, and lots of fun Fauvist paintings on cardboard boxes.

So this blog isn't visually stimulating tonight so I'll encourage you one more time to check out this Star Keeper clip.

I'm going for it, I guess?

Where do I really start on this journey of documentation? Maybe I should state why I am creating this blog in the first place, what I hope to get out of it, and then I'll eventually tell my stories about how this blog came to be.  Perhaps those that read or support me will follow along in this whole process.

Purpose of this blog: To document my transition (and hopeful transformation) from being a 9-5 higher education administrator into a full-time artist and puppeteer.

What I hope to get out this blog: I want to commit to my dreams, and having a forum/space for feedback and reflection as I embark on them seems like good evidence of that. I am in a new chapter of my life, one I feel I have been waiting for a long time for. How could I not want to indulge myself in an opportunity to document and share my growth, fears, dreams, and success?

Who should read this?: Honestly, this is for me right now, but I feel that making my dreams public will only help me keep my word on things more (even if no one is paying attention). If you want to offer feedback on the work I post, offer guidance and support, live vicariously through me, or perhaps find inspiration from this...then this is for you too.

Here's a little background for now: I'm 33 now and can only do the "responsible" thing so much longer. I have a GREAT job with GREAT people in my hometown (which I chose to move back to 3 years ago), and I have a GREAT life here! Yes, I am this positive and really do feel that way. So here's the big BUT....when I am asked what I do by others, my thought and sometimes truthful response is "What I do has little to do with who I am."

I can't say that that's entirely the truth. I do my best to be my abundant self and bring creativity in where I can. BUT the reality is...the work that I do provides me a stable life and profile. Right now, it financially supports my side artistic pursuits and "hobbies" and also sucks up way too much time from doing those very things that I love.

It's taken me years but I'll say it now with a confident yet frightened heart....My name is Monica and I'm an artist. I admit it. I can't deny myself the self-indulgent pleasure of creating and experiencing life without it anymore. Believe me, I've been very good at shutting it out for several years now.

So I'm in the process of figuring out what I need to do in the next year to make this really happen.

• I'm carving out and committing to studio time for pottery, painting, and puppetry (which is where my focus lies).
• I am researching workshops and applying to apprenticeships that I can do on my vacation. 
• I am financially planning to be as debt free as possible (just a car and graduate school loans...no biggie) as well as add more to my savings. I am figuring out what opportunities I can capitalize on to make more money without it cutting too much into my limited studio time.
• I am communicating my plans and dreams (e.g. this blog) so I can keep my word on all of this.
• And yep...I even have a morning ritual that I'm mostly good at keeping because it centers me on all of this. 

I'm sure I'll say this again and again but the final piece I want to add in this entry is:
I have spent the last 10 years building up some great professional skills. This has led to a stable life and I currently have no prospect of marriage and children to compliment that. In some strange way, I feel that I've created it that way because certain dreams of mine haven't been resolved.

Unlike the post art school twenty-something, I have a toolkit of personal and professional skills and experiences that will help me advocate for myself and bring about great opportunities. None of my time has been wasted...it's only prepared me for this more! The only failure I'll experience in my life is not going for it. If I grow tired or crave the stable life after a while...there will still be a lot of stable job opportunities for me out there. Therefore in close, I'll share a quote I picked up at a retreat a few years ago. "Aw, what the fuck, go for it anyway."